In 2001, Geoff and Debbie Hammond were gathered in a Richmond area hotel with other members of the Southern Baptist Conservatives of Virginia (SBCV) staff as a hurricane had left their homes without electricity.

Among those in the hotel, a discussion began about the Virginia convention, Virginia Baptist churches, pastors, and pastors’ families. Geoff served as the convention’s associate executive director.

Speaking from her home in Columbus, GA, where her husband is now serving an intentional interim, Debbie Hammond said, “In that hotel, nine years ago, we came to this conclusion: By building strong marriages and homes, husbands would be stronger pastors to lead the church, and then the church would be stronger. Strong churches make a strong convention.

“We decided to focus on staff wives instead of just pastors’ wives,” she said. “Nothing was being done to support the staff wives. So, the wives of our regional Virginia state missionaries began contacting the wives of local church staff members.” From there, the ministry organization Staff Wives Affecting Tomorrow (S.W.A.T.) was born in Virginia.

It is now being born among South Carolina Baptists, too.

Mary Ann Matthews was a co-laborer of Hammond’s in the launch and work of S.W.A.T. Mary Ann’s husband, Don, was on staff at the SBCV and is now director, Church Health & Revitalization, South Carolina Baptist Convention (SCBC). Through his office, S.W.A.T. is an emerging ministry of the convention, addressing the unique role of ministers’ wives in the home and in the church. It is being established to nurture a network of ministers’ wives for ministers’ wives. A first statewide connection meeting for staff wives will be Friday-Saturday, Nov. 5-6, at White Oak Conference Center near Winnsboro.

Mary Ann has visited some of South Carolina’s associations, promoting S.W.A.T. She has found that some associations are gathering staff wives with intentionality and doing “a great job of meeting needs already; but many, many staff wives, especially in smaller membership or rural churches, have no connection with other staff wives.”

“Staff wives need someone to encourage them, call them, pray with them, and challenge them,” she said. “That’s my heartbeat - to have a connection. There needs to be someone every staff wife can call, reminding her she is not alone. I’ve been there. I’ve been alone.” She is looking for 10 staff wives interested in being leaders in the South Carolina S.W.A.T. effort.

Debbie Hammond called Mary Ann Matthews “the best ever at building relationships through the S.W.A.T. ministry” and said, “She approached those Virginia wives like they were all in one large Sunday School class.”

When the ministry began in Virginia, Hammond said there were a number of surprises. Listening sessions with staff wives revealed the loneliness and pressure felt by so many women.

“Being a staff wife is a journey that is unique,” she said. “No one can understand it unless they have walked through it. Others can be empathetic. Women’s ministry studies can connect with women, but only staff wives can minister to one another.

“So many staff wives are lonely all the time. The husband comes to town with a job, people ready to receive him, and a long list of people to meet and things to do,” Hammond said. “The wife comes to town and doesn’t know her way around. She has no friends. She often has nothing to do. She struggles to know where she will fit in the church and if she will be allowed to fit. And, she bears all her frustrations privately so her husband isn’t weighted down by it.”

Hammond said the pastor’s wife lives with her family under a microscope and lives with that pressure every day.

“In many churches, members are constantly questioning the parental decisions of the pastor’s family,” Hammond said. “They hold the pastor’s family to an unrealistic set of expectations, and the staff wife carries that pressure. I was raised as a preacher’s kid. Anytime I did anything, everyone ran to my parents to tell or question them.”

S.W.A.T. was created in Virginia and will be in South Carolina as a safe place for staff wives, surrounded only by women who live the life with them.

“Every church has the same complaining deacon, the same schedule before its pastor, the same business meeting, and the same struggles,” she said. “S.W.A.T. provides the venue for wives to come together and talk.”

Hammond and Matthews agree that S.W.A.T. comes with a lot of teaching and equipping, too. It’s not all about Bible study, though that’s important.

“We want wives to understand who they are as people so we talk about personality traits as well as spiritual gifts,” Hammond said. “We also talk about how to build unity among the wives serving alongside one another on a church staff. We have evangelism training. We teach wives how to make friends and keep them.”

Other discussion issues include: prodigal children; neglect; finding a place in the church and working with expectation; marriage encouragement; and prayer partners.

Hammond said staff wives are cautious about approaching S.W.A.T., largely because of the trust factor and because they don’t know anyone.

“If we could get a wife to attend one of our meetings, we could get them connected and hooked on S.W.A.T.,” Hammond said. “Once they figure it out, they are more prone to want to come.”

November’s meeting at White Oak won’t be a pampering meeting, she said. It will be a time for encouragement and challenge, and for building relationships around common ground. It won’t be for women in ministry; it will be exclusively for staff wives.

Diana Davis, wife of Stephen Davis, executive director, Indiana Convention, will be the speaker. She has published three books: Deacon Wives, Fresh Ideas for Women’s Ministry, and Fresh Ideas: 1,000 Ways to Grow a Thriving and Energetic Church. She writes for Baptist Press, Let’s Worship magazine and Deacon magazine. She has been a pastor’s wife for 30 years.

The connection meeting theme will be “Hidden Treasures - Unlocking the Heart of God” and will focus on the areas of understanding, wisdom, knowledge, and acceptance.

Marta Sedaca, wife of Jorge Sedaca, North American Mission Board (NAMB), Atlanta, will lead a break out session for Hispanic staff wives.

For further information, please visit www.scbaptist.org/swat.