In the midst of all the planning that accompanies a wedding, there is one conference that seeks to prepare young adults for the marriage.

Recently, over twenty-two dating or engaged couples gathered at the Baptist Collegiate Center at the University of South Carolina to take part in, Before Husband and Wife, an intensive one-day conference sponsored by the Baptist Convention’s Collegiate Ministries Group.

During the one-day seminar participants were challenged through sessions such as how to know a relationship is real, understanding the difference in personality types, healthy intimacy, and fighting fair.  In this Dr. Phil-age of broken relationships, couples learned how to develop and maintain healthy, Christ-like relationships with their partners now and as they enter into marriage.

“Everything I do for my wife is me standing in for Christ to tend to her as Christ would tend to her,” said Al McKechnie, professor of counseling in the graduate program at Columbia International University and facilitator for the conference.

McKechnie challenged the couples to consider one another “on loan” from God for the duration of their marriage, especially during times of disagreement.

“You are borrowing one another for a while.  [Why do we] slander God’s children, especially those that have been loaned to us?”

Couples, who ranged in ages and backgrounds, had time during each session to work through guided questions with one another.  Each were encouraged to look at personality differences, spouse “job descriptions” and past family experiences.  McKechnie urged couples to explore personality differences before getting married to head off any potential difficulties later on. 

“The very thing that attracts you to your mate now will be the thing that drives you crazy later on.  The more differences in your personalities, the more work your marriage will be,” he said.

Liz Austin and Donovan Steltzner from North Rock Hill Baptist Church came on the recommendation of a staff member at their church. 

“The premise of marriage is to serve the other person as a model of Christ.  It really brings the message home when you are actually with the person you are going to marry, rather than in a large congregation of people,” said Steltzner.

Ken Owens, Director of Collegiate Ministries for the Baptist Convention, felt the conference met a need for young adults.  “We really felt a burden to see relationships strengthened before they entered into a covenant marriage relationship.  We hope to continue this every year for newly engaged or dating couples.”