Most people credit Joseph Heller’s novel (by the same name) as the originator of the term“catch-22.”  Most people relate the term to no-win situations.  But what does that have to do with building strong relationships in Sunday School and other small groups?  Think about it.  The very thing that draws people to small groups and keeps them connected is the very thing that can prevent newcomers from plugging in and staying connected.

Whether your church calls your ongoing small groups Sunday School, small groups, community groups, fellowship groups, etc.; don’t get hung up on the name.  For the purpose of this article, we’ll use the term, small groups to refer to any of the above.  Small groups that have existed for a year or more likely have developed a root system that newcomers cannot penetrate.  Keep in mind, the groups can say and do all of the “right” things, but newcomers will never be able to get their roots as deep as those that are already there.  Sounds frustrating doesn’t it?  Your small group can use this warning to develop intentional strategies for building and reproducing strong relationships in small groups.

Here are a few warning signs:

• People visit our small groups but they usually plug in somewhere else.

• Existing members of our small group are only drawn to those they already know and don’t realize newcomers are present.

• In-service or associate members (members serving in other small group leadership roles) typically disconnect from the church when they are no longer leading in another small group.

• People seldom see our small group members together beyond the actual session.

• Members don’t introduce others because they don’t know their names or other personal or family information. People seldom see our small group members together beyond the actual session.

• Most first-time visitors respond during follow up with, "we're just visiting several small groups."

• Small group members miss ministry opportunities because they are not in touch with one another beyond the group time.

• Members cannot recall many times persons really shared personal struggles with how the truths from Bible study impact their lives or the lives of those around them.

• Members view starting new groups as negative.

• Very few unsaved persons visit or join the group.

Here are a few ideas for overcoming the ‘catch-22” crisis of relationships:

• Start new small groups with the clear intentional of developing reproducing small groups.
• Plan activities outside the regular sessions that link people with others they do not know well.
• Provide closed groups (discipleship groups) that allow for those deep-rooted relationships to develop around disciple making strategies.
• Celebrate and send out leaders in service to keep the lifeblood of the group constantly changing.
• Plan occasional ministry opportunities with other small groups.
• Evaluate your connecting strategies to include not only fellowship, but ministry, missions, evangelism, discipleship, and worship connections.
• Include in-service or associate members, as well as church staff members, in all of your connecting strategies beyond fellowships.
• Follow up with newcomers often during their first six months to note whether they are developing significant relationships with 4-6 other people in the church and/or small group.
• Make it easy for ALL newcomers to participate in some type of service or ministry.  Persons who do not know Christ may come to do so by working alongside another man helping build a house in a Habitat for Humanity project in his neighborhood.
• Create a safe place for sharing spiritual struggles and celebrations.

You've got plenty of other ideas.  Use your own but don't get tangled up in the web of relationships--the very thing that grows a group and kill it.  People are desperate to find an authentic small group in which they can walk along others on our journey growing as brothers and sisters in Christ.